Wind beneath my wings…or living in the shadows?

the wind beneath my wings, are you?

In 1983 Gary Morris released the song, The Wind Beneath my Wings, on the country music circuit. And although it made #4 on the charts it was Bette Midler singing this song, from the soundtrack of the movie Beaches, that put it on the map five years later. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iAzMRKFX3c#:~:text=Watch%20the%20official%20video%20for,to%20the%201988%20film%20Beaches.

In the movie she sings to her lifelong friend trying to convey both an apology for outrageous behavior and to let her know that she has always been the real hero in their relationship. Sound simple? Not really.

the rest of the story

The storyline takes us through an entire lifetime of Bette Midler being the gregarious, loud and outgoing friend to the conservative, studious, “proper” Barbara Hershey. They made an odd couple that worked. One always in the limelight (by choice) and one in the shadows, by default? This worked well for them..until it didn’t. I believe that many can identify with this song and its lyrics. But more importantly, with its intent.

I used to sing this for my mom. Growing up it seemed that she was always in the shadow of my father as well as the rest of us. Supporting us and doing without so that we didn’t. I wanted her to know that I saw her, always. Even though the words may not have always been said. Was she what kept us aloft? Certainly. Did she hide in the shadows to do it? I don’t think so.

a different perspective

My Rennie dominates when he enters a room. He is popular, beloved and always seems to make an entrance whether intended or not. Me? I prefer invisibility and try to achieve it as much as possible. I am happy to scurry into the room in his shadow arriving without pomp or circumstance.

Rennie can appear larger than life. Soaring above the rest of us mere mortals. It would be easy to get lost in his shadow, if he let it. But that’s not the way it works nor should it.

Quite a few years ago when he embarked on a new career he started out with some trepidation. It was new and a lifelong dream that he was undertaking. I knew he would do well. That’s just who he is. He had fought his way against some seemingly insurmountable odds to get there. And that is where he was meant to be. Before he left that morning I gave him a necklace that I wore. It was a pewter eagle. I wanted him to know that I believed in him and that as in everything he undertook, he would soar above the rest.

Fast forward some 20+ years later as I prepare to go out the door and start a new career. I was reinventing myself and getting ready to fulfill a life time (or at least a lo-o-ng time) goal. This was wa-a-y outside my comfort zone and a big change for me. He knew this. Before I left he handed me a card. In it he wrote these words:

“Thanks to you I’ve had a wonderful flight. Now it’s time for you to soar and I hope that I can be the Wind Beneath your wings”

(He had kept the necklace!)

are you in the shadows or are you the wind?

If you are lucky, in any relationship, but particularly in a partnership with someone you love and respect, you are both.

The words to the song state that although it may have gone unnoticed, what you did I have here in my heart. And you’re the hero. Well, I think we both are each other’s hero. Allow that person to soar and fly along with them. It doesn’t matter whether you or they are in the shadows. That love and respect will keep you warm in the shadows and will allow clear skies as you fly through life together.

For now, in the shadows but on a natural perpetual high..I am

Sassaleeyours…