i am running away!
Do you ever have thoughts of running away? Just chuck it all and say the heck with everything. The job, the house, um..the life? How far do you take it? Is it just a fantasy that you conjure up when you need a “Calgon” moment? What are your triggers? Anger? Frustration when something isn’t going right in the job? Or do you feel trapped and think that is the only escape?
How liberating (and scary) is to say those words-I am running away? When you think of running away, but you don’t-does it make you feel better or worse?
I would be willing to bet that it occurs much more than you would think. I am also betting that it could be brought on by all of the above.
what type of runner are you?
Could you do it? Does it take being in the heat of the moment? Did you ever try to run away when you were a kid? I did. I don’t remember it. But apparently I was sleepwalking and my parents found me standing in the kitchen wrapped in a blanket. No particular reason. Just something buried in the subconscious of a seven year old I guess.
It gets a little more complicated once you become an adult. At least for those that have a sense of responsibility. And as you know, some have more than others.
the planner
If you are a planner then that in of itself could be a deterrent. Where would you go? How would you get there? And to the point, what would you take with you? Me? Destination first. Somewhere warm and with water I could stare at. When I can’t sleep at night I dream of sitting in the sand and just watching the waves roll in.
I would have to have books or some kind of access to them. Electronics for sure. Need to keep the mind sharp. Money goes without saying. But how much and if you’re married then whose money are you taking with you?
Are you practical and go ahead and pack a toothbrush and toiletries? (This is beginning to sound more like a vacation).
spur-of-the-moment type
I’m pissed and fed up and just not going to take it anymore! Fight or flight. One of the most basic human emotions/reactions. That would be the one that probably falls under the fantasy category. It all falls into place. No thought of what you are leaving behind. The future will simply take care of itself. You’ll show them all and won’t they be sorry! Could you do it? Just walk away? Better have a go bag in the wings then. Either that or access to a whole lot of money. And a phone. And a car. Ugh! It just isn’t quite as easy as it seems when you imagine it.
reality
In the real world where most of us live it really shouldn’t be that easy. There are all kinds of running away.
Could retirement be considered running away? Or is it the reward for years of hard work? What about divorce? Are you running away from a promise or exercising your right of self-preservation?
And running away isn’t as easy as it used to be. Now we have “Find my phone”, GPS tracking, nevermind the ability to “ping” phone locations, trace credit cards and avoid the cameras on every street corner and business.
I’m not saying that it is impossible and doesn’t happen. What I am saying is that maybe we need to work harder at not being backed into a corner where you feel trapped and the only egress involves subterfuge and a go bag.
when running away can be healthy
I think that sometimes running away can be healthy. A girl or guys night out. A weekend away with a friend. My survival kit then would simply have a bathing suit, a wine opener, a book and some sunscreen.
Unplugging and getting away with your significant other can be a form of running away. It can be difficult to achieve but you can do it. It used to be when Rennie and I would start out we would take our watches off until the return. Cutting the phones off presents more of a problem but then who said running away should be easy.
when you run away from life
Running away from feeling or being trapped is a little more difficult. But sometimes that, can be healthy too. I ran away once. As an adult, and it was with my best friend. My mom. My dad had died after a long illness. Mom was his sole care giver. I lived 250 miles away but tried to help when I could. Toward the end I burnt up that road between us.
Mom had somehow won an “all expense paid” trip to Cabo San Lucas. I had to look it up to figure out where it was. For those of you that don’t know, it is in the Baja Sur. Mexico. Neither of us had ever been out of the country. I said no at first. Rennie and I didn’t have the proverbial pot to pee in (which really mom didn’t either). I had started a new job. It just couldn’t be done.
Rennie pushed me to accept. Nine months passed and the time to leave was approaching. I’m still not sure what made me change my mind. But change it I did. So-o, off we went. Just mom and me to Mexico!
saying goodbye
Mom and I are (or were) two of a kind. https://sassaleeyours.com/living-with-a-3-part-heart/ Both had spent our entire lives being responsible for someone/everyone else. She made me promise that this trip wouldn’t be like that. We were going to have fun and no one was going to be responsible for the other. (yeh right).
Well she missed the first night’s dinner after consuming a couple of the complimentary margarita’s. LOL. But that was the last thing we missed.
That trip introduced swim up bars, the macarena (it hadn’t hit the States yet) and 50 cent Corona’s. We danced until the wee hours on top of the tables at Squid Roe and laughed watching the other patrons try the “Hop, Skip and go Naked”. I danced the bottoms off of my new espadrilles.
We almost missed our plane back trying to savor the last few minutes of this new life.
running away
Running away to Cabo- mom and me- running away from grief, responsibility-it was so beautiful. I have never experienced that level of freedom again, so maybe I get it. Those people that get to live their entire lives w/out ever knowing the weight of responsibility. That ever growing, unrelenting pull into reality.
We came back to the reality but returned as new, different people. Yes we ran away. Just for a moment. But it was enough. We came back ready to face the world again. And face it we did for a very long time.
We’re going to Cabo in a few months. It will be the first time since I ran away. This time will be with my Rennie. Fortunately we won’t really be running away. I am hoping we can unplug a bit and simply enjoy the beauty that will surround us. We probably won’t dance on a table but I promise we’ll find a swim up bar or two.
I will take with me a bucket full of memories, plans to make some new ones and a poignant smile as I recall that one time when I simply ran away. (Oh and of course, my toothbrush, sunscreen and a book or two).
Leaving you now and always as,
Sassaleeyours…