mama always said…
How many of you grew up hearing your mom say, “if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.” Well I certainly did. So lets just say that last week I didn’t have the urge to say anything and leave it at that. (Sorry for the lapse, readers.)
Most of us were taught from birth to use our words when we needed to express strong emotions. At the same time we are also taught not to just say whatever comes to mind. Stop and think before you speak. In other words, use filters.
life with filters
Have you ever thought about what life would be without filters? Lets start with the basics. Your car engine requires oil and air filters to keep it running efficiently. Your air conditioner in your home uses a filter to clean out the junk floating around. And some of us use water filters to improve the taste and keep out the minerals.
If you apply this theory to people then I guess you could say that using filters when you speak keeps out the dirt and leaves a better taste in your mouth?
living with filters
I have always thought that political correctness is just a euphemism for good manners. You are instructed to not use terms of address that would indicate a bias or prejudice against that individual. And why would you unless your intent was to be hurtful? Stereotyping a person because of where they came from or what they are wearing seems pretty small minded to me. So really, no need for a filter here if you are kind and have a good heart, right?
living life without the filters
What happens if we take away the filters imposed by society and good manners? Is it more honest? Is the crime less if you think it and just don’t say it? I must confess that particularly when it comes to acts of stupidity I definitely am guilty of thinking uncharitable thoughts that I would never verbalize.
So what happens when those filters go away? I have a friend who lost their filters after a health incident. There isn’t a hurtful bone in their body but sometimes what comes out is definitely not thought out. My Granny was another. I still remember getting ready to go out one evening and whirling around to show her my dress and asking, “what do you think”? BIG mistake. She replies, “well I wouldn’t be caught dead in it”. That was my Granny. “What comes up, comes out”.
holding on to the filters
Some of these instances can be humorous. I have seen comedic routines where some of those filters are missing. Those are all meant in fun hoping for a laugh or two. And they can be funny when there is no harmful intent. Real life is different though. Even at my most angry I don’t think that I have ever said anything to another person with the intent to harm. Nor have I said anything in the heat of the moment that I didn’t consider how it would be heard (or felt) before saying it. Not everyone plays by those rules sadly.
In an earlier post I referenced the “sticks and stones” rhyme. https://sassaleeyours.com/whats-in-a-name/ Words do have the ability to cut.
Filters were created for a reason. As mentioned earlier they keep things cleaner. Our “word filters” I believe, do the same. Is it more honest to speak without filters? Maybe. But in this case perhaps honesty isn’t the best policy.
Keepin’ it real – I am,
Sassaleeyours…