speaking in public
Speaking in public can be an interesting concept when you begin to poll the populous about how they feel about public speaking. I would say that as a majority most would rather have their toenails pulled off, walk on hot coals..well you get the picture.
Then there is the middle group. The people that are required because of their job, beliefs. I’m not sure that there is anyone that just wakes up one day and says, hey, I think I’d like to hold a forum and speak about random thoughts and current events on a world stage.
And finally, the finite group that really doesn’t mind the oration process. In fact, I would dare say that there are those few that revel in hearing their voice out loud. But should they?
talking out loud
There are several jokes out there regarding talking to yourself. You know the ones, “I wanted to talk to someone intelligent or “it’s ok to talk to yourself as long as you don’t answer”. But joking aside there are studies that report that talking to yourself can be beneficial. Of course on the flip side of the coin is what is known as ‘the conversational narcissist’. We probably all know one or two of those.
I have posted quite a bit about how much I love words and how words and their meanings are important. Today I want to talk about the delivery.
choosing your words carefully
I find it apropos that this post falls under the category of Sarcasm https://sassaleeyours.com/category/did-you-really-say-that because sometimes listening to people talk I really do think to myself (did you really just say that?)
Recently I was listening to a speech by Biden. He was speaking of the Prime Minister of Japan. In his delivery, he paid a compliment to the prime minister but then finished it with, “and I mean that sincerely”. https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/04/10/remarks-by-president-biden-and-prime-minister-kishida-fumio-of-japan-at-arrival-ceremony/
I was driving but that phrase when he said it struck me as offensive and rather cringe-worthy. Did that mean that all of the rest of accolades was just food fodder?
Of course that got my little pinball brain bouncing around.
down the verbal rabbit hole
Before you get offended let me clarify by saying that I am aware that I am in no way, shape or form a perfect speaker. Never was this made more apparent than when I was in college. One of the required courses was a speech class. In my arrogance I figured this to be an easy A and a waste of my time. After all, I had taken 4 years of journalism (in high school), sang with a band and worked for a local paper through school.
After my first assignment and delivery the instructor announced that one, she didn’t give A’s on speeches. But more importantly that day I learned about vocal tics. She said while my delivery was ok I had a problem with saying, “you know”. She made the point that at some time in the future I would encounter a smart aleck that would raise their hand claiming, “no, I don’t know”. That along with several other lessons set me on a clearer path. This pathway can be a blessing (if you are the deliverer) or a curse if you are forced to listen to someone without the skillset to omit these. The um’s, the er’s, etc. usually an indicator that the person speaking might not be as prepared for their subject as they should.
when words fail you
Vocal tics come in all shapes and sizes. The aforementioned are the most common ones. I have heard some amazingly smart people completely destroy the moment when speaking to an audience. All I can hear are the hiccups. It is a struggle even when writing. The best advice I have received for speaking in public (and no it isn’t imagining everyone in their underwear) is to breathe. Pause when you need to grab a thought and make it cohesive. The um’s and the er’s are painful. The pauses will have more of a tendency to keep them engaged.
what are you really saying?
I would also like to throw out some phrases that could be classified as vocal tics. We as a society have a tendency to listen and absorb the latest jargon. I’m not sure who qualifies as the expert but repeatedly you will hear newscasters, D.J.’s and many others that have an audience, use and reuse phrases. The latest one I think is 100%. I try to avoid these like the plague but will catch my self falling into that trap. They’re like verbal ear worms.
I guess there is a limit to clever phrases and words but should we use the ones that we have so carelessly? Here are a few examples.
‘Let me be perfectly honest’ – as opposed to what? Does that mean that all the other times we’ve conversed you added in a lie or two?
‘In all due respect’ – if they start with that then you better look out, because respect is the last thing they are handing out-you’re getting ready to get zinged and DIS respected
These days we keep hearing our leaders talk about the ‘working people’ and putting them first –who exactly is that? Does that mean if you have a degree or make a decent salary that you aren’t actually working nor are you worthy of concern?
and finally I’ll close with Fair share – so let me get this straight. I’ve worked decades, paid taxes as well as all of my bills and now you’re telling me that it was unfair and the money I’ve earned should have gone to those that didn’t? Who exactly are we being fair to?
O.K., o.k., I’m jumping off of my high horse and soapbox. Just remember you didn’t hear it here first. And I mean that sincerely, if I am being perfectly honest..ugh!
I’m just,
Sassaleeyours…