what’s in a promise?
I swear, a handshake, a written contract. All of these can represent the intent to follow through on expectation. Business deals were made on a handshake. You can take an oath to uphold an assigned duty. And in today’s world you’d best have a written contract to protect your interests. All of these things by any other name is simply, a promise.
A promise used to mean something. Whether it was a business deal, a marriage, a vow of payment for services rendered. The Judds had a line in their song, Grandpa, that said, ” Was a promise really something people kept, Not just something they would say and then forget” Have we become that person where we callously say we will do something and never follow through?
a lesson in integrity
The way I was raised if you said you were going to do something then you always followed through. You give your word. It’s called integrity.
Oxford languages defines it like this: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. I still will conduct some ventures on a handshake but when it comes to money and projects then I do want a written contract. I am very careful committing to something. Because you see, a promise means something to me.
where did we go wrong?
When did the tide change? This isn’t a lament about the younger generation because from where I sit it is at every level. So is this a learned behavior? Where is the accountability to do the right thing?
who suffers most?
And who does it hurt? Everyone gets hurt. It hurts the economy and creates the need for contracts. Society is hurt because a handshake no longer has value. But mostly, it hurts at a personal level.
You often will see commercials with a pet left behind. It tears at the heartstrings and fills us with sympathy. The pets forget and forgive you. But what if it is a parent or a child? When you make a promise do you keep it?
what does it mean to you
You realize that when you tell someone you will be there, that’s a promise? And when you don’t show you’ve made another promise that you don’t keep. Do you have any idea of how deep a cut that makes? He plans his world around you on the promises that you gave and yet they mean nothing to you and he’s alone trying to feel brave but mostly, unwanted.
A child (and parent) can be forgiving just like that pet can be. But they don’t forget the hurt that’s rendered. An occasional broken promise is inevitable because life happens. But to continually and callously make a promise that you can’t or won’t keep is criminal.
the broken promise
A broken promise can be destructive. It may not occur the first time but each time a promise is made and not kept, you lose respect. You lose trust and the faith that person had in you. You cause hurt. It may not be visible to you because that person wants to protect you. But it is there.
handle with care
Before you make that next promise to show up and be present, to take them out to dinner or to simply spend time with them, stop. Think about what you are saying and can you and will you follow through. They would much rather have nothing than a promise that is broken leaving them once again…waiting.
I promise dear readers, it will also benefit you.
Sassaleeyours…