losing direction
Have you ever set out on a drive, a trip around town or a new adventure and gotten lost? I have, lots. Nothing can compare to that dread in the pit of your stomach as you try to determine which way to turn next, just to find yourself more confused and lost than before.
One of the best inventions for me was the GPS. It was liberating! Of course I had years of being teased about my lousy sense of direction and some full on angst whenever I had to navigate my way around town.
losing your way
What about navigating the emotional, spiritual road of life? A deep subject granted, but a very real danger for some. It can come from one bad decision or influence. Fortunately we have (or should) a moral compass to either keep us on the right path or show the way to get back there.
losing your sense of self
It is so easy to get caught up in the many roles we take on daily. We live in a world of multi-tasking. Society as well as our own yardstick demands that we are the be all and end all. The best spouse, the best employee, parent, these are given. But to get there we take even more chunks of time and sense. Striving to be everything to everyone until who you are and what you want fades away, slowly edging out who you used to be or what you wanted to become. It isn’t an easy pathway back nor is it easy to find the compromise but it is doable. You can find you again.
But what happens when you can’t?
getting lost
As you can see there are many ways to get lost. Lost in a car or on foot, lost in your soul. All of these are fixable.
what happens when you can’t be fixed?
Alzheimer’s (the disease), Dementia (the process). They can go hand in hand. Alzheimers can start years before symptoms ever manifest. Those symptoms when they do are typically what we as layman would refer to as Dementia. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/expert-answers/alzheimers-and-dementia-whats-the-difference/faq-20396861#:~:text=While%20dementia%20is%20a%20general,memory%2C%20thinking%20and%20reasoning%20skills.
Whichever name you assign it the reality is hideous and insiduous. There have been advances in medicine that provide medication to supposedly slow the process if found early enough. And thankfully it is recognized globally as a serious disease that is non-discrimnatory when it chooses it victims. Age, race nor financial vitality is a barrier.
But I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about losing YOU. What happens when you start to realize that you don’t remember the numbers and names like you used to? When you enter a room and have to backtrack to remember why you went in there.
BREATHE
There is a very high probability that what you are experiencing is what we referenced earlier. The disease of multi-tasking. Sleepless nights, cram-packed agendas and high functioning workplace requirements can lend itself to mental exhaustion and some forgetfulness at times.
who’s forgetting what?
Really, it is easy to assume that because you see gray hair and they may answer to the name of grandpa that they have some problems with memory. Whose memory is fading anyway?- Grandchildren who remember nothing and grandparents who remember all? The first step, the recitals and what you wore. Think about that. It could be that they let go of some of the old stuff to make room for all the new!
finding someone who is lost
These are all real scenarios but sadly so is the reality of being lost within your own mind. There is no escape. Depending on the stage of the disease (or what caused it) they may get to visit outside of that world awhile but ultimately that is where they will reside. There are associated processes with this disease that occur more because of the nature and inability to function at a normal level.
I’m not lost yet!
The media as well as personal experience has created an awareness that has brought it to the forefront of many minds. I think that one of my as well as many of the masses greatest fears is to “start slipping”. Because of this I feel that some can go to extremes as well as unnecessary worry.
who is the president?
My grandmother, a feisty, flirty dame of 65 had to have hip surgery. She went to a local, small town hospital. As does happen, she was “overdosed” on pain meds. She lost the ability to converse, swallow or reason. All of this new for her and the medical staff slow to recognize.
She ended up in a nursing home. This determined lady came back! And she danced again. Lived on her own again and up until the day she died (at age 93 and fully cognizant)became irate if anyone asked her who the freaking president was. LOL
My lovely 95 y.o. friend is as sharp as a tack. This after several strokes at 70. She doesn’t forget anything! I have many stories.
are you lost?
It is difficult to gauge ourselves when you have that fear. My suggestion would be to do some simple tests. Think about what you still do well. Would that be possible if you were slipping? Play games that require some skill. READ! There are certain “tells” that a person shows. Most that are in the early stages can be crafty. Don’t be so quick to throw yourself under the bus! You’re probably not there yet (if ever)
finally
Don’t give up on those that love you. Wouldn’t you help a stranger if you noticed they seemed lost? Afford that friend, family the same courtesy. Listen to their stories (for the 100th time), excuse that they are slower (you will be too some day). Gather the stories that they tell from the past. They can be precious and will be forgotten by most.
**as a special note: I hope that you will visit my new page – POEMS. Look for the poem I wrote a few years ago. I remember…https://sassaleeyours.com/i-remember/
For now, I am
Sassaleeyours…