leftovers
There are two types of people when it comes to leftovers. Those that will and those that won’t. I’ve never understood the aversion. If you like something the first time then it’s a good bet (with a few rare exceptions) that you will like it when it is leftover. Rennie is one of the ones that will. In fact, he is notorious for saving a slice of bacon or two at breakfast just so he will have it to munch on later. No matter how much I may pare back his portions he is wont to “save some for later”.
life and leftovers
Life is a little like leftovers. There are those of us that will save a little of ourselves from the ones we love, just in case we need it later. And then there are those that throw it all out there, giving everything and holding nothing back. They go through life eating, experiencing, like it is their last meal (or hoorah).
Who’s to say which is better? If we’re talking about food then you can enjoy it all at once and take the chance that there may be a repeat or you go the route of the leftovers knowing what’s in store and enjoying the memory. When it comes to people and relationships, you can hold a little back to avoid total annihilation if it all goes south, or you can just go for it! Live life in the moment and deal with the fallout later (if it happens).
That first bite
You may think this post is all about food, but it isn’t. It’s really about life, friendship and planning for the future. People are funny animals. They are made up of such a variance in nature that you may wonder sometimes if they are truly of the same species. I am thinking about relationships. How we enter into them and when, what our expectations are and most importantly what’s your contingency plan?
As a whole, I believe that most of us experience our first relationships as friends. I’m not talking about the romantic kind but those friendships that are formed from necessity, happenstance and simply by accident. Those friendships may waiver or go away and some (if you’re lucky) can last a lifetime. Friendships teach us how to share, care and how to be unselfish-when done right. There is no morsel of food as delicious as that first bite. Friendship can be the same. When experienced for the first time it sets a standard that you will look for the rest of your lives.
the main course
Once you figure out the friendship thing then you’re probably moving on to a romantic relationship. It may or may not have started with friendship but if you’re lucky it will become a main ingredient as you start to experience life with this person. Falling in love is an aphrodisiac in of itself. Everything tastes better, skies bluer…you get the picture. And that is as it should be. Just don’t get so wrapped up that you forget about dessert.
Shame on you! Did you think I was talking about stepping out? Or lets just say what you’re really thinking, cheating. Well, I am not!
dessert
If you go out to a restaurant how many times have you heard the wait person ask if you saved room for dessert? They were witness to those looks of ecstasy as you moaned around those morsels. And how many times have you, or someone you are with, managed to find room for one more bite?
THAT’S where I’m going with this. Remember it isn’t really about the food. When you enter into a romantic relationship, a.k.a. marriage you want to give it your all. That person is who you think of just as you are going to sleep and the first thing when you wake. You rearrange your life and enter into the world of compromise. In my post, the Shelf life of love https://sassaleeyours.com/the-shelf-life-of-love-couples-at-40/ we talked about keeping that spark alive and some of the pitfalls. That aside, the question you may ask is, “Did I save room for dessert?”
life
In a perfect world we will grow along side our partner step by step. Changing and evolving as needed. The most perfect scene is the last one in Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook. https://nicholassparks.com/work/the-notebook/ They simply lie down in each others arms and fade away together.
Real life is rarely like that. And that brings us back to leftovers and saving room for dessert. It is so easy to get so wrapped up in your love for one another that you may forget to let other people in. And yes, you may think that’s all you may need, but it isn’t. The reality is that one of you will go first leaving the other one behind. That one will be the leftovers of a wonderful relationship but without outside friendships there will be no one to share it with. You can fill yourself up with that main course until there is no room for dessert or in this case friends.
the appetizer
Think of outside friendships as the appetizer. It doesn’t take anything away from the meal and in many cases can enhance the experience. A well balanced dinner and a well balanced life can create a lasting memory. Sometimes making the leftovers the very best part.
Now I am getting hungry and am still,
Sassaleeyours…
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