are you a good listener?
“I have big shoulders and am a good listener. Lean on me anytime”. Have you ever uttered those words? I have and I meant it. But are we? What makes a good listener?
I recently watched a movie where two sisters were in a car and one was offloading about something that had happened to her. The sister that was listening looked at her and said, “is this a conversation where I am just supposed to listen or am I supposed to help?”
What a profound statement (or question). It really made me stop and think.
what kind of listener are you?
When you find yourself in a new relationship/friendship it can be easy to simply listen and be that person that they need. But what about the people that you’ve known forever? I have to ask myself..is familiarity causing me to break my promise about being a good listener? Do they really want to hear my opinion or is this when silence can be golden? 
safe haven
I believe that sometimes people really don’t need any assistance. They already know what they should or shouldn’t do. Mostly their minds are already made up. They just need a soft place to land and talk it out. There are also those folks out there that can be easily influenced. Do you really want to be that catalyst that could tip them over to the wrong side of what is best?
It may be that being a sounding board will allow the situation to blow off some steam and defuse what could be a really volatile outcome. One that isn’t reversible. 
Words are difficult to retrieve when spoken in anger or frustration. If you listen well you can absorb those words and let them fly into the air where they do no harm.
being the best friend i can be
I would like to think that any comments I offer are solicited and welcome. But I wouldn’t swear to it. I will say that since I heard that statement it has really made me think twice before speaking. Familiarity with a friend and loved one can create a sense of security but can also remove some of those barriers we might use for ourselves when we think we are “helping”.
Benjamin Franklin said it best in regards to silence can be golden- “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
and this one “He who does not know how to be silent will not know how to speak.” ~ Decimius Magnus Ausonius https://www.azquotes.com/quote/1261678?ref=silence-is-golden
So for now I will be listening, waiting for that right moment to speak and help. And remain..
Sassalee yours…