Science says that when a person has a heart attack there is a part of the heart muscle that dies.
I believe that losing someone is like that. Your heart once full, filled with love and life’s blood suddenly ceases to function fully and at capacity. It comes under attack, by loss-death.
I’ve had a lot of loss in my life. Some of it seemed “at the right time” although I’m not sure that it hurts any less. I have often wondered which is worse. Holding onto someone watching them day in and out, sick not quite whole or BAM! losing them right away, no warning!
Is there a science or algorithm that determines this? How? When each person is so different and plays such an unique part in our lives.
And what if that person fills two roles? If they are family and friend. My mom was like that. Yes, I said was. She was the person who could just look at me or I her and know what the other was thinking. She understood that impossible need to laugh at the wrong time (and did it too, because she “got it”)
I’m not a person who makes friends easily. I have a great capacity to care but love? That is especially reserved. I’ve had special people in my life come and go. (oh no worries some are still on this earth just not around me).
But I reserve parts of my heart for just a few. The overall muscle still functions and doles out love and caring for the human race, friends. It uses the sum of these few to maintain that ability. But ah, the parts.
I have ‘Rennie’, my Renaissance man. He’s been around a while and I expect him to stay quite a bit longer. He gets me, puts up with me and loves me “although”.
There is ‘Arnie’, my sweet person that was left behind. He with the amazing kind heart and the inability to hurt anyone. Never have I known a person to grieve as deeply or love so completely. We have him for now and we will continue to care as long as we are blessed to do so.
And finally, but never least is my heart sister. Whoever said that you can’t pick your relatives certainly got that one right. Thank goodness you can pick your friends.
We chose each other. The familys’ version of sister wasn’t a good fit for either of us but what we found in each other created a sisterly bond that cannot (and will not) be broken.
So there you have it. The pieces of my heart. Just as within a body that has had an attack, you keep on functioning.
Science provides stents and bypasses for the diseased heart. Life provides the ability to continue on when loss attacks.
So for now, I go through each day. Grateful for my 3 -part heart. 
sassaleeyours…